Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Why Anaconda is Better Than Snakes On a Plane

Looking at all movies in recent memory that involved vicious snakes, I have come to the conclusion that Anaconda is way better than Snakes on a Plane. Snakes on a Plane totally sucks, while Anaconda is way awesome. Why you ask? For one, Snakes only boasts one major star (Sam L.) and even the lesser known talented ones (SNL's Keenan, The Office's David Koechner) are not used to their full advantage. On the otherhand, Anaconda has an all-star cast featuring Ice Cube, J. Lo, Owen Wilson and Jon Voight with an awful, fake accent. Bottom line is, you watch Snakes thinking it is going to be totally awesome, and then you're like, "Wow, that kinda sucked. It wasn't funny, wasn't scary, was kinda homophobic, and had no redeeming qualities whatsoever." On the otherhand, you totally expect Anaconda to suck and then you're like, "Whoa, that was kinda awesome." I mean there's a scene where Ice Cube gets in a fight with some dude who wants him to turn down his music and the song he's bumping is an Ice Cube song - seriously, that's classic. Really, though, Snakes sucks so much you'd be totally better off with the star-lacking Anaconda sequel, Anacondas: The Hunt For the Blood Orchid.

Oh and ... "There's snakes out here this big!?!" is a way better one-liner than that one about motherfukcing snakes on a motherfucking plane.

1 comment:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Now to be fair, SOAP was a victim of its own success. There was so much prerelease hype that you couldn't help but be disappointed.

I actually enjoyed both movies, because there is always room for one more snake.