Defeating Kevin Federline in a Freestyle Battle

Kevin Federline is getting serious about his music career. He's got a MySpace page which includes a ten second song sample, a website that opens with tabloid headlines and him rapping "Mess with my family and your through," and a new album that will come out as soon as he can actually find a label. In the meantime, his single "PopoZao" is available through Yahoo Music. Now whether or not K-Fed's career takes off, nothing will take away from the fact that I did defeat him in a freestyle battle. It was back in early November and Diddy was the moderator. I can imagine you are probably saying, "How could I have missed it?" Well, it went kind of under the radar, unlike many other things in the world of K-Fed. (Thanks Trent).

In case you missed it, here's the transcript:

Real Name: Kevin Federline
MC Name: K-Fed
Album: "The Truth"










Real Name: Will Benham
MC Name: Grapefruit Juice
Album: "The Love Alien From Planet Sexy"






(The crowd waits in anticipation. Diddy enters the stage).


Diddy: Hey ladies. Hey fellas. They call me Diddy. Now tonight, as I proceed to give you what you need, we got us a battle between two hot MC's -- K-Fed, aka Daddy, and that name is way to close to mine so I hope you plan on changing it. I'm Diddy, I got my style, I do my thing. Do your thing homes. Anyway, on the opposing side we got Grapefruit Juice, aka Professor. That's cool. Now these fellas got flow; they got style, though I really can't tell because its dark in here and I got these sunglasses on. But that's cool. I wear sunglasses at night. Yo, I should sample that beat ... "I wear my sunglasses at night" ... Anyway, yo, let me take this toothpick outta my mouth for a sec, this is a best of 3. I hope you fellas brought your a-game. I only like winners. K-Fed, you got 30 seconds and then Grapefruit, you go --

K-Fed: I should be saying keep my damn name outcha mouth/but y’all people keep increasing my change amount/So go ahead and say whatcha wanna/I'm gonna sell about 2 mil, foo, then I'm a goner.

Grapefruit: You whack ass rapper, you call that a rhyme/Foo, if you was on the corner, I wouldn't give you a dime/nor would I give you the time -- of day/no way/no play/in my cd ---- player/I'm takin you out, call me the K-Fed slayer.

(Crowd response is unenthusiastic ... moderately better for K-Fed)

Diddy: Alright, people wasn't really feelin' that. But, if it has to go to someone, K-Fed. You take that one. You just need one more. Grapefruit, come on man, make yo mama proud.

Grapefruit: Yo Kevin, what's with the look/can't Britney buy you a blazer/You ever heard of shavin'/can't Britney buy you a razor/And bro I hate to report/But you a little behind on your child support/And here's one more before I blow/Von Dutch went outta style a year ago.

K-Fed: I know y'all wish you was in my position/cuz I keep gettin' in situations you wish you was in -- cousin/I'm not your uncle, not your brother, I'm daddy dude/Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue"

(Crowd responds with a little more enthusiasm ... Grapefruit gets some cheers)

Diddy: Ok man. B.I.G. B.I.G. Well, Grapefruit I think the crowd was with you there. Now, we got the tiebreaker, and both a y'all better bring some fire this time. I ain't got time to sit around for another round of this bullshit. I want rappers here. K-Fed, what ya got.

K-Fed: My prediction is that y'all gonna hate/on this style we create/straight 2008/But I know that you really can't wait/Cuz people keep askin'/When's the release date/Well baby, you can just wait and see/Until then all these Pavarottis followin' me.

Grapefruit: Kevin, ain't nobody askin' when yo' record gonna drop/nobody gonna buy it, except your mom/and even she gonna admit that flow is whack/and turn the car around to get her money back/it ain't worth a listen, ain't even with a burn/but I'll teach you how to rhyme/you could be my intern

(Crowd goes wild over intern line)

Diddy: I think we got a winner, but both a y'all need to listen to some "Ready to Die," some "Life After Death." That's poetry. This is not hip hop history here. I'm gonna hit the club and try to forget this. Grapefruit, as the winner, you get a red Sean John jumpsuit and a copy of my second album, "Forever," which is really living up to its name, because I still got like 8,000 copies I need to get ride of. Yo, check me out on "Making the Band 3." That shit is for real. History, baby. Sean John, B.I.G., Bad Boy baby. Diddy.