Occasionally it is nice to take a break from watching art films (we'd already watched Mirrormask and Last Days this weekend) and feast your eyes upon something you are 99.9% sure will suck. Such was the expectation when we sat down to watch House of Wax. As big fans of Vincent Price and the original he starred in, we were hoping this remake would not totally desecrate the classic. This new one, in fact, owes very little to the original and for the first 45 minutes (full of contrived dialogue from unlikable young characters) it was actually a ripoff of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake from 2003 - young people on a road trip (to "the game" in this one) who get lost in the middle of nowhere, and are subsequently hunted down by weirdos with a troubled past of family issues. About 45 minutes in, things were beginning to get not so bad. The small town made for a creepy setting with some really good set design. Once the twist came that this was a "town of wax" created by two disturbed brothers, I actually thought that was kind of interesting. Unfortunately that lead to a ridiculously stupid ending where an entire house made of wax (?) melted; it looked absurd. Watching some of the special features, we learned that this ending is what everyone was most proud of, and it was first-time director's Jaume Collet-Serra's lifelong love of wax that lead him to this project. (I kid you not - he actually said he has always loved wax, especially candles).
Thinking about the half-assed dialogue, the phoned-in performances and the exploitative violence, what happened to the awesome horror films of the late nineties (especially Scream). Those weren't just bloodfeasts - they were real pop culture events. This one seems a bit more forgettable. As Hillary said, you know it's bad when the worst thing about a movie is NOT Paris Hilton's performance. (As for the soundtrack, it oddly jumped from horny R&B to nu-metal, and then there was an Interpol song thrown in there).
5 comments:
I like the odd bad movie that everybody can make disparaging remarks about while watching. We generally take wagers on who will be the first to be offed. The only surprise in House of Wax was that it was NOT the black fellow who was the first to die (because it's usually always the black guy).
I agree that the set was kind of impressive - I liked the art deco buildings - but that house melting bit was beyond stupid. And I think they should have drawn out Paris' death scene a little longer, you know, because that's what we were all waiting for.
Geez, sounds like a home movie some 7th grader made.
Barbara - looks like we're on the same page with this one. True, they did not kill the black guy first, but they played up plenty of stereotypes with him.
Phoenix - please don't insult the 7th grader.
Really- it is worth watching to laugh at how the mighty Gilmore Girls actors have fallen. The special features are also a true treat. Will was not exaggerating about the lifelong love of wax and candles of the so talented director. I think a 7th grader could have very well done it better.
It sounds familiar - were you desperately watching the extras as I often do for some scrap of entertainment? (intentional or unintentional..) Can you imagine identifying yourself as someone with a lifelong love of wax! wacko.
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