The Legend of Chinese Democracy

It would appear - though appearances can be deceiving - that the long-awaited Guns n' Roses album Chinese Democracy will see the light of day very soon. Three awful songs have leaked onto the internet, leading me to declare that I hope this album is never released. It's not that I want to deprive true G'n'effin'R fans - it's that the stories that have come out of this period of waiting create a legend far greater than any album could be - unless that album happens to be Kid A. The legend should make for a great VH1 film someday. Because I just love searching through the MTV.com archives, here is a funny (and somewhat pathetic) look at the last ten years of G n' R history.

November 8, 1996: Axl Rose sends MTV a fax, announcing that Slash is no longer a member of the band, and the rest of the band is on thin ice. MTV reported, "According to Guns n' Roses sources, Axl Rose wants the band's music to grow and evolve, and he felt Slash was committed to the group's old, now classic, sound."

March 18, 1997: MTV reports that Moby "recently met with Guns frontman Axl Rose to listen to the group's demos for the next album, and he praised the band for incorporating loops into the new songs as well as (if not better than) any other artist."

April 18, 1997: Confusion arises as to whether drummer Matt Sorum and bassist Duff McKagan are still in the band. Former Nine Inch Nails' drummer Chris Vrenna is rumoured to be a member, as are Robin Finick (also ex-NIN, guitar), Dizzy Reid (keyboards) and Paul Huge (guitar).

May 22, 1997: Mike Clink is "confirmed" as the new producer. Dave Abbruzzese (ex-Pearl Jam) is rumoured to be recording with the band. Sorum says that G n' R have recorded "4,800 hours of music" and have "15 really strong songs" which will be ready "hopefully by next year."

April 21, 1998: MTV reports that Killing Joke bassist Youth will be producing the new G n' R record. MTV says that Josh Freese is "most likely" the drummer, while adding, "There may even be a chance that Tommy Stinson will lay down some bass tracks. Stinson, formerly of the Replacements, has adamantly denied to press sources his ongoing involvement in the project but insiders confirm he's been hanging out in the studio."

December, 1998: Slash, Duff and Sorum play together at the Slamdance Film Festival.

January 8, 1999: MTV reports that Rose is working with producer Sean Beavan and that Stinson is playing bass.

May, 1999: Spin publishes an investigative report on Guns n' Roses current state, and one odd bit of info is revealed - Shaquille O'Neal claims to have had "an impromptu session in which he was invited to freestyle with Guns 'N Roses in April 1997 while he was recording out of the same building and peeked into Axl's studio."

July, 1999: The closing credits to the Adam Sandler film Big Daddy feature a recording of "Sweet Child O' Mine" by the new lineup.

August 4, 1999: Finck leaves the band to re-join Nine Inch Nails.

November, 1999: A new song ("Oh My God") surfaces on the End of Days soundtrack. It features Dave Navarro on guitar.

November 9, 1999: Axl discusses the new album - now called Chinese Democracy - with MTV. "It's a lot of different sounds," he says. "There's some really heavy songs, there's some really aggressive songs, but they're all in different styles and different sounds. It is truly a melting pot. . . .I originally wanted to make a traditional record or try to get back to an 'Appetite' thing or something, because that would have been a lot easier for me to do."

January 10, 2000: MTV reports that David Wild has heard new songs and, "describes the band's new sound as 'Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti remixed by Beck and Trent Reznor' and says the title track is 'almost grungy.'"

March 15, 2000: Rose announces avant garde guitarist Buckethead as the new lead guitarist. Buckethead is known most notably for being reclusive as well as wearing a "Jason" mask and a KFC bucket as a hat. Freese leaves at the same time to join A Perfect Circle.

April 28, 2000: Roy Thomas Baker is announced as the new producer.

October 30, 2000: Finck rejoins, the band announces plans to tour the following summer, and play the Rock in Rio festival in January.

December 11, 2000: Rose announces a June 2001 release date for Chinese Democracy - which is, of course, not met. Bryan "Brain" Mantia, formerly of Primus, is now on drums.

January 1, 2001: Las Vegas' House of Blues is the setting for the first live performance of the new Guns lineup.

May 10, 2001: The band cancels a scheduled European tour.

May 29, 2001: The band reschedules its European tour for the end of the year.

November 8, 2001: The band cancels its European tour again, with Buckethead's health taking the blame. "Following the euphoria of [the band's appearance at the] Rock in Rio [concert], I jumped the gun and arranged a European tour as our plan was to have the new album out this year," [G n' R manager Doug] Goldstein is quoted as saying. "Unfortunately, Buckethead's illness not only stopped the tour, but it slowed down our progress on Chinese Democracy."

August 29, 2002: Guns n' Roses make a surprise performance at the MTV Music Video Awards. Axl sports dreads and an Oakland Raiders' jersey. Afterwards, Axl tells MTV, "You'll see [the album], but I don't know if 'soon' is the word. It will come out, and we'll do some more recording and start the American leg of the tour."

November 8, 2002: After the opening date of G n' R's first North American tour in nine years is canceled, fans in Vancouver, BC, riot. According to MTV, it was quite the scene: "They threw bottles and rocks. They were angry about paying $80 U.S. for tickets and then getting blown off, and they yelled things like, 'Fuck Axl, I wanna see Buckethead!' After about 20 minutes of all this, a phalanx of cops waded in with attack dogs, and things got really ugly. Those fans who escaped the police onslaught with nothing more than a faceful of pepper spray might be said to have been the lucky ones. Wielding their riot batons with seeming abandon, the cops walloped legs, arms, heads, whatever available extremity presented itself. . . . Even as the crowd began to disperse, police continued to chase and hit and kick individual stragglers."

November, 2002: Slash, Duff and Sorum form a band - and begin looking for a lead singer.

December 11, 2002: Clear Channel announces cancellation of G n' R North American tour after just a handful of dates.

April 4, 2003: The Offspring's Dexter Holland announces his band's next album will be called Chinese Democracy. "You snooze you lose," Holland says in a statement. "Axl ripped off my braids, so I ripped off his album title."

August, 2003: Stinson announces plans for a solo album, tour.

September , 2003: Baseball superstar Mike Piazza appears on "Q104.3's nationally syndicated Friday night show, Friday Night Rocks ... With Eddie Trunk, with a CD marked 'New GNR' which he said he received in the mail three weeks ago. He persuaded Trunk to play the song 'I.R.S.' at 12:15 a.m. Saturday morning," acording to MTV. G n' R management issues a cease-and-desist order almost immediately.

March 17, 2004: Buckethead leaves the band.

March 30, 2004: Band cancels appearance at Rock in Rio. "The band has been put in an untenable position by guitarist Buckethead and his untimely departure," Rose says. "I apologize to the fans who planned to see us at Rock in Rio - Lisbon. The festival and its tradition mean a lot to me personally and I sincerely do not enjoy being robbed by one of our own of the opportunity to be the first artist to play it for the third time."

June 8, 2004: Contraband, the debut from Velvet Revolver (featuring Slash, Duff and Sorum, as well as Scott Weiland) hits stores.

February 23, 2006: Despite the re-emergencee of Axl and three leaked tracks, MTV reports that, "Representatives for both Geffen and Interscope, the two labels most likely to release Chinese Democracy, said they know nothing about a release date for the album or even which label might put it out."